Sunday, March 21, 2010

So Tired.....

Warning: Long, ranty, poor me post ahead.

I am so tired. Tired of everthing. I am so very discouraged and frustrated and SAD. I simply am at the point where I just can't go on ANYMORE.

I have come to hate the neighborhood we live in. I still LOVE Logan, but I have really come to hate our neighborhood. Our ward is still mostly great, our bishop is wonderful....but as our ward IS our neighborhood....well. Let's just say that I would be totally fine not going to church. Things have become so very tense and awkward because of various things. And now, it's affecting my kids too. SOOOO not ok. I pretty much hide in my house all day, even when it's absolutely gorgeous outside, because then I don't have to be around others. I would much rather hide in my house than be ignored and ostracized.

I am beyond sick and tired of being made out to be the jerk all the time. Made out to be the bad guy. I am tired of struggling for every red cent we get. My son wanted to make a poster for a reading contest at school. I didn't have 50 cents to buy him a poster board to make a poster. I am trying to build up a business to bring in income, and I can't even do that. I NEED to see my mom....but can't because of money and time. People that I thought were friends aren't. Even though I have apologized for things, even if I don't know why, I am still being treated like a leper or someone with some contagious disease. I am just at my wits' end. I simply cannot go on anymore. I am so tired of struggling. I am so tired of trying to stretch 1 dollar into 10. Or even 1 cent into 10 cents. Last wek I had to go to court for that stupid ticket for no insurance. I was sentenced to 8 days in jail. EIGHT FREAKING DAYS IN JAIL FOR NO PROOF OF INSURANCE!!! AND IT WASN'T EVEN MY CAR!!!! The judge suspended the eight days, but if I don't pay the ticket, which we don't have the money for, then I have to go to jail for 8 days. I would have to say that in this instance, the punishment DEFINITELY does not fit the crime. My husband and I (bless his heart) have been a lot more short tempered with each other lately as well. Normally we don't fight a whole lot. Lately we have been a little bit more. I know it is the stress of everything. We are both trying so hard and getting nowhere. On top of all that....I have to take a daily medication. My husband has to take a daily medication. My son has to take a daily medication. Have we been taking our meds? No. We can't afford to get the prescriptions refilled. Even WITH the insurance that we pay out the backside for.

I know that we are so very blessed, and I am so grateful for that. Right now, things are all crashing and happening at once and it is so overwhelming.

4 Totally cool people said::

Jody and Lacey said...

Ang I am so sorry that life is crashing on top of you. Just know I love ya and things will turn around. It has to right? There is nothing lower than the bottom...
P.S. Loved your lesson Sunday. You are a sweetheart!

Jody and Lacey said...

1- I could never teach. It is so scary to me! You did a great job. I will comment as much as I can just as long as I have something to say. I am not afraid to talk! :)
2- Thanks for the sweet comment about my dear friend. It is still so unreal to have her gone. I just want a hug from her ya know?
3-I LOVE Island Park. I am glad you share my love for that place!
4- We were hiring but Ron just hired a gal yesterday dang it! I am sorry I should have told you sooner!
5- For enrichment craft night we are making enterchangeable flip flops! Its going to be fun and so cute. If you have some flip flops you want to use just bring those. Or even a pair of Annie's. It should be fun. We will see how it goes the first time. I am sending out an e-mail tomorrow through Denise. :)

Love ya girl! Keep your chin up. Things will get better.

Anonymous said...
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Emil, Caroline and An Angel... said...

So sorry people are being LAME!!!! :(