Friday, February 22, 2008

The countdown begins..

So, there is less than a week before we move. There is still so much to be done. Like EVERYTHING haha! I am not one of those people that can have boxes sitting around forever and ever. It just depresses me. So as a result there is nothing done.

This is a bittersweet time. I really don't want to leave Shelby. Not because it's SHELBY, but because I think we have had a pretty good life here. My children are doing AWESOME in school, and they love it. I am so worried about them not doing as well in the schools in St. George. They are SO much bigger.

We have a BEAUTIFUL home that I love. LOVE LOVE LOVE. It was everything that I have always wanted in a home. Not too big, but big enough for us. Beautiful yard. BIG yard. Older...lots of character. Literally a white picket fence around the front. Flowers. LOTS and lots of flowers.

But, thinkg don't always go as we would like. Maybe it's because of the events that have happened over the last year that I am holding on more. Sometimes I think it would be easier to live in a place where it doesn't have my dad's stamp on it. I mean, Shelby is where he grew up....where he lived a MAJORITY of his life. Sometimes I think it would be easier to be away from all of that. But I will miss not being able to go to the cemetary and visit..gain some comfort and peace of mind.

I worry too about my mom....I posted before how she was just fighting us on the issue of going...but I have had some clarity. I think she is really SAD about us going and I think she will be really lonely. My sister is here, but my sister never goes to visit her or call her just because. It's always because she wants something. I'm gonna miss my mom. As much as she drives me nuts sometimes, I really do love her.

And then there is St. George. I liked it there, but it is SO EXPENSIVE to live there. Randon says he will work three jobs if he has too, but that isn't fair to him. Or to the kids, or me.

I don't know. Sometimes change is really hard.

2 Totally cool people said::

marcibun said...

8 years ago in April I packed up our house, put my baby in the car seat, waved goodbye to my mother, sisters, nieces, nephews and bawled as I drove off headed to a brand new country. A couple of times I thought about turning around and saying "screw it!", but my husband was waiting in our new home, in our new city, to start our new life.

It was really, REALLY hard, and really REALLY exciting, and really REALLY the best thing that could have happened to us. We have a wonderful life, a wonderful house, I can stay at home and raise my kids - all things that wouldn't have happened if we had stayed where we were.

Its going to be tough, but that's life for you - jump in with both, embrace the change and make the most out of it. Something wonderful is waiting for you, and its long past due in my opinion.

Jenn -- said...

Will you be stopping by?