This holiday season marks the second one without my dad. I miss him so much. The other day I was talking to a friend and I just started crying, missing him so much. I haven't cried for awhile over his loss. I can't believe it has been as long as it has.
After my dad passed away we had a yard sale. We needed money to pay for his funeral, and the easiest thing we could think of was a yard sale. The first day of the yard sale a blue dragonfly flew into the garage and just sat there all day. I still can't explain it, but both my mom and I just "knew" it was my dad. My dad's eyes were blue...the dragonfly was STUBBORN, just like my dad. We had tried to get it to go out of the garage and it wouldn't move. It sat in the same spot all day. I was comforted by the presence of this bug....I don't know why, but I just was. I just felt like my dad was there watching over us, making sure we were ok.
In February of 2008 I went from Great Falls to St. George to see my dearest friend in the world. While I was there we went and got tattoos together. I wanted something as a sort of remembrance tat for my dad, and I also wanted to incorporate something about my grandfather and grandmother in there as well. I miss them all so much. My grandfather passed away as the result of a car accident in October of 2000, and my grandmother died suddenly (we still aren't sure of the cause of death) June of 2003. I needed something for me to look at and have a tangible reminder of these three people who I love and miss SO much. So I got a dragonfly tattoo. The blue body represents my dad, which is blue. Blue for his eyes and also, as it happens, close to his birthstone color. The wings are purple and white, purple for my grandfather's birthstone (June) and white for my grandmother's (April). The tattoo is on the inside of my wrist where I can see it everyday. I have had many comments on it...all mostly positive. The negative ones aren't really NEGATIVE, just more along the lines of "Why would you do that?". The dragonfly marks my third one. All of them have meaning to me. But my favorite is my dragonfly.