Lately we have been having a really hard time, harder, it seems, than normal. I know that trials are necessary and they help us to excercise our faith, but sometimes I wish that they could all just go away. All the trials.
As you may or may not know, our car recently passed away due to transmission issues. We were borrowing a car from a friend and were going to try to buy it from them.
When we borrowed the car, I knew that they didn't have insurance on the car, but it was a risk I was willing to take because they were kind enough to let us borrow a vehicle and we needed a car. The other day I got pulled over because the officer thought Nolen wasn't wearing a seatbelt, which he was. He then said that when he ran the plates it showed that there was no insurance on the car. He proceeded to tell me all this stuff about insurance and tickets and that he is going to have to impound the car. Then he says that if I will park the car he won't impound it. So I park the car and try to go get insurance on it, at least temporarily so that I can drive the vehicle, but I can't because the car isn't in my name, which is understandable, but frustrating.
I call my friends to tell them the situation because I don't know what else to do, and they go pick up the car and take it back to their house. They said they would call us to talk about options but they have never called, which leads me to believe they are really mad. Maybe they aren't, but what else can I think. So now we are carless, again. The officer proceeds to tell me that Cache Valley is a great place because of the bus system, and he is right, it is. I am so glad that there is a bus system here. However, I have come to the conclusion that the officer doesn't have children, because if he did he would realize how inconvenient the bus system can be. Yesterday I had to take the bus over to a local shop that is about a 5-10 minute drive from my house, depending on traffic. We had to take a bus. A trip that would have taken me 20 minutes tops turned into a 3 hour trip because of having to wait for busses, transfers, etc. I don't have time to wait around like that. If my kids have an emergency in the middle of the night and have to go to the emergency room, how are we supposed to get there? The bus system, while great, doesn't run 24 hours or on Sunday's here.
I think more than anything, I am frustrated. Frustrated because we are struggling SO bad. Frustrated that I now have a $400 ticket that I can't afford to pay, but if I don't, I go to jail. Randon and I were talking the other day, and although we haven't changed HOW we drive at ALL, we have been pulled over MORE here in Logan than we have any other place we have ever lived. And we have only lived here about 1.5 years!
I know that in the grand scheme of things, my trials are nothing compared to what some have faced, and even recently. Earthquakes, tsunamis, loss of life.....these are trials that are so much greater than what I am facing. However, it also seems that lately we have had one trial after another after another, with no end in sight. I am so tired of scraping for a gallon of milk...or a loaf of bread. Tired of trying so hard to make a living and do what is right and not getting anywhere. I miss my family...I haven't seen my mom in a year, my sister and her kids longer than that. I REALLY need to be able to see my family. I have thought so much about moving to be closer to my mom for awhile, but why? We would still have problems there. I don't know. I keep praying for relief, and none comes.